In Heels or in Bed by 9? The Struggle to 'Act My Age'

At 20, I spend way too much time scrolling through social media—don’t we all? The internet, much like life, is a never-ending source of inspiration. We soak up what we love, dismiss what we don’t, and call it "personal growth." But lately, it feels like there’s a civil war brewing in the world of 20-somethings. On one side, you’ve got the live it up squad—heels on, drink in hand, and a dance floor never far from reach. On the other, the wellness enthusiasts—herbal tea at 9, spin class at dawn, and a bedtime so early it’s practically vintage.

It’s as if we’ve embraced a kind of absolutism: you’re either a party girl or a self-care queen, with no room for overlap. If you’re out until 3 a.m., how could you possibly understand the zen of a Sunday reset? And if you’re tucked in with a face mask and a book, how could you relate to the thrill of a midnight Uber ride to the next bar?

But here’s the real question: when did we lose the flexibility to just be 20? To laugh at the hangovers and still attend our morning lectures. To stay out one night and stay in the next. In a sea of polarizing choices, where’s the middle ground—the lifestyle that lets us have it all?

Sometimes, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the pressure to pick a side. Every choice feels like a statement, like I have to be one thing or the other. The guilt of staying out too late when I know I should be prioritizing self-care, or the frustration of missing out on fun because I’m trying to check all the wellness boxes. Why does it have to be either/or? I’m caught between wanting to embody both the carefree spirit of my youth and the wisdom of growing up—yet somehow, it feels like those two identities can’t coexist.

But that's the best part about being 20! there’s nothing wrong with showing up to your 8:30 a.m. lecture nursing a hangover. That groggy haze, the slightly smudged eyeliner, the knowing smirk you share with a friend who was also out last night—it’s a rite of passage. A battle scar of youth. These are the moments that remind us we’re living fully, embracing the chaos of our 20s before it’s no longer charming to be a little sloppy.

This decade is the perfect time to embrace duality. To let the pendulum swing wildly between extremes! Because as we grow up, those late nights and unplanned adventures naturally take a backseat to jobs, responsibilities, and a life that demands more structure. The guilt-free joy of lingering over a cup of tea at night—no email to check, no deadlines looming—might not come as easily in a few years.

So, why should we box ourselves in now? Who says you can’t crush a Monday deadline after a Sunday Funday? Or sip matcha in the morning and margaritas by night? Life isn’t about choosing one side over the other—it’s about appreciating the beauty of living in the in-between.

Our 20s aren’t supposed to be polished and perfect. They’re supposed to be messy, experimental, and yes, full of contradictions. The fun is in figuring it out: knowing when to dance until dawn and when to call it an early night; savouring both the thrill of a new adventure and the serenity of a slow, quiet evening.

So, let’s stop trying to fit into neatly labeled boxes. Let’s embrace the beauty of duality—heels in one hand, a self-help book in the other—and make this decade truly our own. After all, when else will we get the chance?

XO, Charlotte